@theanxiousnerd

"I'd been feeling off all day yesterday, I only got out of bed at 6 pm for the last couple of weeks my insomnia has had my sleeping patterns completely flipped and it's been really getting to me. I'm a university student and I'd been doing budget calculations the night before and my general financial situation is tight, university in general is hard as well when you don't want to leave your bed, let alone your flat for anything.

My boyfriend and I were in the bath together and we always tend to have heart to hearts in there. Everything ended up flooding out, all my worries and fears, and the next thing I know I'm full on sobbing in the bath.

Couldn't stop sobbing for a long time, we got out of the bath and I was still sobbing, it continues through me being in the shower to wash my hair, something I wanted to do because I was feeling gross. I'm still sobbing when I get to the bedroom wrapped in a towel, but I'm slowly winding down. My boyfriend is amazing and was with me through the whole thing, I'm vert lucky he managed to persuade me that he wasn't going to leave me just because I was having a tough time, one of my biggest fears.

We spent the rest of the evening on the sofa watching him play red redemption as I like to watch games whilst I was wrapped in my weighted blanket drinking a pot of tea.

@theanxiousnerd One of my biggest coping methods is a cup of tea, I find it forces me to stop and breathe. I have tea for every occasion and my collection is ever growing much to my BFs displeasure of it taking over the countertop, he always makes me one when I need it though.

Eventually we go to bed and I'm wide awake so I go into the living room while my boyfriend sleeps, I've got one of those IKEA chairs that slightly bouncy and I spent the night sat in it playing on my phone.

Eventually the sun started to rise and I saw the sunrise with the most beautiful colours. I got up and ended up taking a picture because I figured it was the only good thing about being up that early.

I've been looking at coping techniques for a while trying to find something that might work for me and I really enjoy my personal Instagram so I thought I'd try use Instagram as a way to let out my feeling when I'm dealing with my screwy brain. And so the anxious nerd blog was started and that sunrise was my first post.

@theanxiousnerd So I've been awake all night and it's now 07:50. Last night I had a major breakdown and I've been feeling like crap but it's nice to see something beautiful at the start of a new day.